It is not alright

Sometimes all you can d o is exist We get told constantly in our society to strive more, be more, push harder, do better.  I can see the merit of this. We need to push ourselves in order to keep moving. If we don’t try, we cannot succeed. But there is a difference between giving up, or not trying, and being unable.  Throughout my depression I have had numerous comments and advice, some good and some bad.  One thing I hated more than anything was ‘you just need to push yourself more, try harder’. I always wanted to respond by saying ‘oh yeah, I don’t have to suffer depression any more, I’ll just tell myself I’m ok’  Sometimes this can be relevant and helpful, but there is a point where this can just ad guilt and frustration to the mix. People who have not experienced mental illness cannot understand the hurt we feel when someone doesn’t see how damn hard we are trying.  I had a nurse tell me I needed to push myself to go to the dining room. My response was

"But my pain is bigger than yours".... really? Have you ever wondered why people cry over something insignificant? The answer is simple: It is significant to them. God made everyone different, we all feel pain in our own way. we experience life differently. Not better or worse, just different. I might see someone I know who has just broken a leg. Ouch! I would help and support them, knowing that that leg must be causing a lot of pain! Later in the same day I might see someone bump their arm on a doorknob. That person sits on the ground and cries. It would be so easy for me to say to that person  "Come on, its not that bad, at least you didn't break your leg!"  But is that the right response? Technically, the injuries are quite different, but in reality , that shouldn't matter. We need to treat everybody with the same respect. If someone cries, it means they are sad. If they hurt it means they are in pain. Who are we to judge what that p