Pain..is...pain



"But my pain is bigger than yours".... really?

Have you ever wondered why people cry over something insignificant? The answer is simple:
It is significant to them.

God made everyone different, we all feel pain in our own way. we experience life differently. Not better or worse, just different.

I might see someone I know who has just broken a leg. Ouch!
I would help and support them, knowing that that leg must be causing a lot of pain!

Later in the same day I might see someone bump their arm on a doorknob. That person sits on the ground and cries. It would be so easy for me to say to that person "Come on, its not that bad, at least you didn't break your leg!" 

But is that the right response?
Technically, the injuries are quite different, but in reality, that shouldn't matter.

We need to treat everybody with the same respect. If someone cries, it means they are sad. If they hurt it means they are in pain.
Who are we to judge what that pain is like?

Something I find common when dealing with mental illness is the misunderstanding that people who suffer depression need to just 'toughen up' and deal with it.
It is impossible for anyone to truly know what another persons suffering is like, but it IS possible to have empathy.

If one of my kids gets a scratch, I hug them. It's just a scratch, but if I said that to them, they would feel misunderstood. I try not to even think that way. I don't make a big deal about it, making it worse than it is, but I also don't push away their pain, who am I to judge?

As someone suffering depression, I have had many times where my tears seem to come from something simple, something that should not bother me. Often, I don't even know why I'm crying.
I don't decide to make it hurt me. I can't simply stop the pain.

Last night, I cried. To most people my reasons may have seemed stupid or weak. My daughter came over to me and gave me a hug. She didn't say anything, or try to analyse the situation. She saw my tears, and that's all the info she needed.
And thats all I needed.

If you hurt, you hurt. If you cry, you cry.

Our  priority should not be to analyse or judge why.
Our priority should be showing empathy.

Just to be there, and that makes the most difference of all.






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3 March 2022 at 21:17
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