Dare to judge..?



Knowledge/ then judgment.

Last blog entry was talking about knowledge, and how we understand our lives. 
This time i want to talk a bit about judgment. 
For me, the two topics are linked. Judgment seems to come when someone believes they have the knowledge to make a particular decision or opinion.

If someone has a sore toe and stays home from work for a week, their would probably be judgment from the other workers 
‘are they just weak and cant cope with pain? ‘Are they just sick of work?’
‘Are they having an affair with the boss and they had a fight.....’
when in reality, their toe actual broke and wasnt healing properly. 
As you can see, judgmental thoughts can leap out of control quickly.

Mental illness seems to be a magnet for judgment.
‘Their just a bit lazy’ 
‘They need to toughen up, its not that hard’
‘They are letting everyone down’
‘They dont care about those they love’ 
‘I would deal with that so much better than they do’

Sometimes judgments come out of concern, either for the person who is unwell, or for those around them who are affected by it.

The problem is, judgment ALWAYS has harmful consequences.
As someone who suffers from severe depression, I already judge myself, about everything. My illness makes me feel guilt and shame, for things that really are not my fault.

Knowing that people around me are judging me adds another whole layer to my pain.

I can understand that people have different opinions, on whats right or wrong. We all have a right to our own beliefs, but when those thoughts become personal to someone, it is where the damage is made.

In my journey, i have had to suffer through many judgments. I still do.
Although i know that my illness is not easy to understand, it hurts to know that some people dont see ‘me’ within my mess.

Im not choosing my illness. My symptoms and treatments are not just for fun. 

We often make judgments when we dont even realise it. It can start off small, like ‘he is always drinking coke, no wonder he has a bit of a belly’ or it can escalate ‘she is so selfish for putting herself first like that’ when all she is doing is trying to survive. 

For me, i have had friends, family, and even mental health workers, judge me. 
It still happens. 
I got to the point where i was no longer able to fight for my voice, to explain myself. 
Problem is, it is all internal now. 
Once those words, looks, actions, get inside my mind, they stay. 
I can still remember word for word things people have said to me as off hand comments. Most of those comments make me cry. 

Our judgments impact. 

Judging others, and ourselves, can seem unavoidable. But we need to at least try to stop. 
But how? 

It comes back to my previous post. 
Knowledge, and intuition.
We need to remind ourselves that we dont know everything.
We need to remember that its impossible to know what someone else is going through.

Have compassion.

And if you dont understand... maybe you could ..ask..? In a giving way, not demanding, you can ask for more information, to understand more. 

And if you still dont get it, keep it to yourself, our you could damage someone unnecessarily.

And remember, you dont know everything....! 

As always, Thanks for reading. I hope my words can help those who need it. 

Also, a reminder, please leave a comment, a thought, a question. If love to hear from you. 



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