Depression isn’t sadness


Just because I’m depressed, doesn’t mean I have to be sad. 

I read this comment the other day from an article my husband showed me, and it got me thinking. Yes, this is true.
There are times throughout my journey with mental illness where I have been very sad, but to be honest, sadness has not been a major contributing factor.
I know that most of the time, I have no logical reason to be down. I have a loving, amazing family, I have no real trauma to deal with, and yet I fall to the ground, and sit in the middle of the room to cry.
I can be so depressed I will cry to God, begging Him to take my life, but at the same time, can join in a song of worship, and mean every word. I can be angry at God and love Him both at the same time.
I can be grateful, blessed, thankful, hurt, miserable and depressed all at the same time.

Depression impacts on my life so much more than just my mood. It affects every part of my life.
My emotions, my mood, my thoughts, my feelings, my behaviors, and also my body.
~ I am sometimes sad.
~ I am sometimes angry
~ I am sometimes confused or hurt.
~ I feel low and ‘black’
~ My mind plays tricks on me, telling me things that are not true
~ My mind becomes my worst enemy, constantly putting me down.
~ My feelings, well, for me, my feelings become muted. I no longer could see color, or feel warmth, or taste sweetness.
~ My behaviors change. I shut myself away. I cut my arms, i would not eat for days, or sometimes eat everything in sight, and want more.
 ~ The heaviness that is often expressed by people suffering depression is real. So real.
~ It’s not just a feeling, or a dark aura. It’s physical. It’s as if the illness takes away the ability for the body to fight against gravity.
~ My body will hurt. I would ache all over, constantly.
~ My headaches will pound with force.
~ I become sooo tired. So exhausted. Fatigued, but no matter what I did, how tired I was, I was unable to sleep.
I can’t sleep, even though I do everything possible to help that. All the bed routine therapies. All the sleep medications. All the tips and techniques. Different beds, sheets, pillows. Nothing made a difference.

All these symptoms are not built from sadness.
They are built from an illness. A sickness. The same as a flu,  or a cancer. Something real.

It’s a hard concept to grasp, when so much of what we say indicates sadness. When people have a bad day, or something sad happens, we often express it by saying ‘that’s depressing’ or ‘I feel depressed’.
Feeling depressed or ‘down’, and having ‘clinical depression’, are two separate things.

This doesn’t mean that sadness is not a part of mental illness though.
Sometimes a sad event or experience may trigger an episode of depression.
Someone who is suffering depression may not have the emotional strength needed to deal with tough situations, so sadness may occur more frequently, or harsher.

Also, being depressed causes sadness, due to the suffering felt, an the experiences being missed due to the illness. The family and friends surrounding the person suffering, also suffer. And most likely will also experience sadness.

I think the main point is, there is soo much more to this horrible illness than people realize, even  the people suffering.

I urge you....
Continue to be open. Continue to say what’s happening. How you are feeling, what you are battling.

And continue to listen. Continue to try and understand what someone is going through. Be there to support, not to judge. Read, follow up, learn what you can about the illness.


Mental illness is a real illness.

Thankyou for reading todays blog. I would really love to hear from you. Feel free to comment below with your thoughts or questions. I’m open to all views and opinions. If you are in a situation where you are struggling with your own mental health. Please reach out. There is support available. 



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